Threat Level: Critical Threat.

Great. More terrorists.
Really though, two days before I’m suppose to fly into London there’s some messy terrorist plot thwarted by the police. Apparently the plan was to use carry-on luggage chock full of dynamite* to blow up the planes mid-flight from the UK to the USA. Authorities claim the “significant” plot involved up to ten airplanes.
But we foiled them again!
After 25 arrests in London, 21 remain in custody. And now, according to England’s super-secret domestic spy agency, MI5 007, the country is at the highest threat level: critical threat!
Critical Threat: “An attack is expected imminently and indicates an extremely high level of threat to the UK.”
Meanwhile, I’m searching google for “hip London bars” and “strip clubs London.”
I should be searching “London Bridges falling down” or “Survival tips at 60,000 feet.”
Damn terrorists. Always one step ahead, always fucking up my travel plans.
It’s not enough that I get ass-searched every time I fly but now I’m gonna get the random selection latex double-dip!
Yes!



*That’s not true. Terrorists don’t use dynamite. It was probably some sort of liquid explosive in an Avian bottle.